In the end, we are all just memories... Make it an unforgettable one.
Love. The healer. A healer of hearts thought to be dead, dry, as the parched, scorched, water craving land in the desert. I have lived surrounded by books from centuries past, reading, and reading again, about the love earned, and the love lost, from a time when things were simpler. I've read about wars, about spies.. I've read about Jason C Bourne's tryst with fate, as he travelled to Hong Kong to bring back his wife.
Oh I've read. And I've come to realize that the only Immortality one can achieve, is that in love. Or a lack thereof.
At 22, I claim to be no older than a 17 year old, with stupid jokes, lame pranks, and a less than mature outlook towards life. And most who know me would agree.
But not in the case of love.
The other day, i found myself in a two hour midnight conversation with my best friend... A slim, tall girl with amazing hair and a childish laugh that makes my heart flutter. And she was astounded by my view on it.
Ever heard the term friendzone? Oh I bet you would have. I've been there. And back.
We spoke at great lengths about what it's like to want someone who doesn't want you the same way.
And after everything, here's my suggestion. Try being there once.
Try being best friends with someone who loves you back, but as a friend, or a brother. With the entire if only scenario...
Try loving someone whose mere presence, the fact that they are out there, breathing, alive, causes you to grin like an idiot. When you think of them, even you all-scary boss looks less intimidating. The smile on your face, when they laugh at a silly goof-up of yours, not knowing that it was a deliberate move on your part to see that twinkle in their eyes as the correct you.
I am not talking about the silly attraction towards that cute girl in your office, or the hot dance partner in your daily evening salsa classes.
I am talking about the all consuming love. A passion so fiery, it consumes your every single moment. From the moment you wake up and wish them a lovely morning, to those beady eyed good nights, after staying up extra couple of hours for them.
Feel it drive you. Feel yourself thrive in it.
Feel the hurt.
Those heartbroken days, followed by some more heartbroken days, as you sit there on your bed in the quilt on a cold winter night, listening to them go on and on about the one they love. Feel the pain.
You may, at this point, think that I am a raving nut with nothing better to do at half past midnight. Well stick with me for two more minutes and you would believe differently.
And here's why...
At 16, when love is young and everything seems heightened, I realised something... This girl I had been friends with for close to 7 years, was the one. Seems hilarious, yes, but I'm sure some of you can relate. Fact is, at 16, we haven't seen that much of the world, as we have at 22, or at 40. We are trying to figure out our way up in the world, making up the plan as we go along. But the love is real...
I have looked at it in the eyes, the Sunshine of my life, considering myself the luckiest bloke on the planet. I've felt that electric current pass through me would when I first held her hand. And I've felt the shattering of my heart into a thousand pieces when it ended.
I've lived, and loved her, for half a decade past that point, the crazy love that drove me to sit back and watch her be happy with a guy I thought was a friend. I've watched as she sided against me, choosing him over me. I've waited months for a call she promised. One that never came.
But that's when the magic happened.
I chose not to care anymore. I CHOSE, willing myself to let her go. To let those who don't care about me rot in hell, for all I care. Let them hurt the way I hurt, when they break up.
Though I'm quite sure you have certainty classified as a psychopath, I assure you, here's where the magic happens... you've stuck with me for so long, what's a few more lines?
For when you will yourself to let go, to love yourself over them, comes the realization, that you made it. Remember that person you thought you couldn't live without? Look at you! Living and everything!
You are a different person! Like the metal put in fire, you come out pure, with a fiery, untameable passion. You realize you survived, you thrived, and you mended your broken heart. Without anyone else's help. You learn to give. You are happy watching the person you love be with someone else, cause you realize that that's what counts! The fact that they are happy. The fact that someone, somewhere, is out there, smiling a bit more, laughing a bit more, no longer in depression, but looking forward to the next day cause of you.
And that my friend, is true, unbound joy.
That's what makes it worth.
So I say it again, go on. Love someone today. Love them like no one has ever loved anyone before. Why? Here's a secret.
It's not about the happy endings. Its about the crazy ride.
Cause in the end we are all memories. Make it a good one...
Until next time...